warning: complainyness ahead

[mood: i don't even know. i'm feeling five things at once here]
[music: some song on the radio by Twista (who requests this crap?)]

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
That is the scream I cannot utter. I have to wait until i'm alone, which will be awhile. Tonight, i had a driving lesson and it was horrible. I had to drive for two hours because Sara forgot her permit and i made so many mistakes. It was scary because I hadn't driven in town at night yet so this was my first time doing that. And I don't know why, but i just wasn't concentrating very well. I think i'm tired from the week because i didn't sleep good one or two nights this week and today we had the SADD conference, which was fun, but tiring. Anyway, Leanne asked me tonight if i have a fear of other cars hitting me and i realized that i really do. Like, i'm really scared that i'm going to get in a car accident, and it doesn't help when i'm driving with my mom and she flips out at half the things i do. I don't mean she yells at me, she just screams all of a sudden, "watch out for the pedestrian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" when i saw the pedestrian perfectly clearly and was planning to stop, but that makes me jump out of my skin. I hate it so much when she does that. I like driving with Leanne so much better because she never freaks out and she's always calm. Of course, she has a brake on her side of the car...
Anyway, i'm also kind of pissed at my dad. I almost started crying when i got home from the combination of being tired and from my horrible driving lesson and also because i told mom a bit about what was bothering me with dad in the car on the way home, and just everything was kind of bubbling to the surface and i almost got overwhelmed with wanting to cry.
But anyway, when i got home, i wrote a letter to my dad which i'm not going to give to him; i just needed to write everything down and get it off my chest. I'm not going to copy out the letter here, seeing as it's two pages long, but it's basically about the fact that i feel like he doesn't respect my opinion on anything. I don't know if that's actually true, but that's how i feel and i think some of the ppl in the band would probably agree with me if i asked them. Writing a letter that you never plan to give the person is really good to help you feel better because you can say anything and you don't have to worry about hurting the person. So after writing that and watching The Gilmore Girls, i felt better. But i still had to rant about other stuff. Sorry about the long complainyness.